12:30 PM I locked my system by just hitting two buttons simultaneously and stood up with empty stomach and heavy heart. Life was apparent as of no use, useless discussions, hopeless talks, and aimless days. Eyes were crawling for the death of last hope….it seems like nothing had left behind, only a barren land with stains of tears can be spotted from place to place. When the string of broken awful relation and love appears in front of eyes then only heart wished for the blindness.
The thoughts were running hard down like a tempest, my feet were running inversely proportional to that storm and without knowing, I had escorted myself from the building to the food court. I directly went to one of the several queues without taking glance of any menu, bought a lunch coupon and joined another queue for taking the lunch. Mind was fetching the whole concentration deep onto the broken feelings of life but somehow I managed to take that attention away from the heart and scatter it in the outside world. Now the eyes were looking at the all known faces around the food court, which were eccentric to me however, eyes were not resting on any particular face.
All beautiful faces out there were having all expressions.
Suddenly I caught a face that was looking sad a moment before, now it blossomed like a fresh rose and that was the touch of the advent of someone special for whom she was waiting so desperately with two plates of fried rice. Now that someone special slowly sneaked one chocolate into her hand to bribe her for the acceptance of his delay in appearance but she refused mischievously and then accepted suddenly with a naughty smile and this made that someone special to feel more special in this world.
Few yards away a middle age man was sitting alone with open lunch box and I was sure that it was cooked and packed by his wife because of the fondness that was appeared in his eyes when he opened it. Soon the people for whom he was waiting down with open Lunchbox joined that man and most were having lunchbox in their hands.
At the far end, there were two tables. Both were appearing deserted but they were not. Those tables were occupied by one guy and one girl respectively. Both were sitting alone on their own tables, there were no one to share the loneliness of their life and table both. The plates of food were waiting the table and spoons were entangled somewhere between the fingers and their faces were in dilemma of something which perhaps they didn’t even know. Only the loneliness was keeping their company.
Somewhere in the middle of the food court, few tables were joined together and a group of comparatively young faces were sitting and enjoying Pizza, Chinese, etc. Few were couples and few were stags however all were friends. Sound of loud laugh and teasing appearing from there and making me remember the similar days of mine. Freshness of smile on their faces and the gentle roughness in their talk, forcing many ears to turned down in their direction.
Meanwhile I caught a bunch of people standing in front of Menu boards and talking over the dishes, which were displayed there. Few couples were also there and most couples were not reaching the decision what to take for lunch, there were conflicts in the eating habits. Few just agreed without much tussle and few simply agreed to their companion’s choice without any question.
One housekeeping guy was mopping was floor where someone had poured the curry unknowingly and simultaneously few people walked up through the same place and by seeing this the housekeeping guy’s lips started fluttering but no sound appeared and he again started mopping the left over signs of shoes on the floor.
Finally I was ready with my plate of lunch and again looked around the food court was full. While holding my plate in both hands I started looking for the place to sit and finally I got one table where a middle age person was sitting alone and having his lunch in solace. I asked him, “Can I sit here?” He welcomed me with smile, “Yeah sure.” And I sat there on one chair out of three empty ones.
Now I looked at the queue in which I was standing for the lunch few seconds before and tried to look at me from the perspective wherein I was looking at everyone few moments before. This moment I realized that I was no different from the crowd I was part of it. My feelings, my emotions, my pain is no different from anyone in this world. There was no need to think this much about the pain I was suffering from. Everyone out there was having pain of some kind. Nothing was so big that I couldn’t bear up. Everyone was coping with their good and bad with their own why, some by accepting, some by compromising, some by adjusting, some by talking to themselves, some by surrendering, and some by winning over. So why can’t I stop my fighting with myself and looking out for the peace the way others seeking, maybe I would get it.
Suddenly the middle age person sitting in front of me said, “You are right…All things in this world are same the only difference you can experience is the way you feel it or we can say, the way you want to feel it.” I replied with amazement, “What?”
He replied, “I am done with mine…are you?” and left the table without any further word, I was seeing him walking down, and suddenly he disappeared in the crowd of common feelings.
Everything is common, nothing odd exists, and the only odd is the way of your acceptance in this world.
What love is ….Don’t know and sometime even I don’t want to know. I always wonder why people fall in love. Why don’t they ever climb in love? These all questions are always ponder in my mind when I see couples roaming hands in hands; maybe I am lack in Love hormone but I don’t care about all this chemistry, I am happy with what I am, after all this is my entity. However, one day I came across one strange feeling, I never knew what it was however, It was something.
It was my college days and sometime I use to travel to my hometown via bus, that day I suddenly decided to go to my hometown so I called my friend to drop me at nearby bus stand. I reached there and bought ticket but it was around half an hour left for the bus to move so I took seat at common bench, where already a Pretty girl was sitting and having conversation on mobile with someone. First, I thought if mobile was not there then what these girls used to do. How they would carry their affairs so efficiently? In those days, I had no cell phone as I had never come across the need of it, even today, I don’t use my cell phone much. Therefore, as I was sharing that common bench with that pretty girl and I had nothing to do, hence I started giving my ears to her conversation on phone, but didn’t get much so finally I stood up and suddenly my vision grasp her beautiful face, it was looking pale and sad however still beautiful. I moved out from Bus stand, light up one cigarette and my mind keep on start giving thoughts to her. I thought why she was so sad…what happened to her and normally girls don’t used to travel by late evening buses. Then why she had planned to travel…or maybe it was a sudden plan, with every puff a new thought was taking birth and trying to figure out her problem. I had finished my cigarette and moved back inside the bus stand. I checked my watch it was 10 minutes left so I walked inside my bus, I was looking for my seat and suddenly I found the same girl there and even my seat was adjacent to her so took my seat and gave her a friendly look but in return I had got no reaction but I could see tears in her eyes those were ready to roll out but somehow she was holding on them.
It was so sad to see tears in such beautiful eyes. I decided to take some other seat as I could feel that she was not going to be comfortable with me however, the bus was full and I had to sit next to her. She was keep playing with her cell phone with anxiety. She was reading each SMS that she had in her cell and the amazing thing was that that all those SMSs were from one person named ”Raj”. With each SMS, she was looking sadder; her tears were resting at the eyelashes. However, she was keep reading those SMSs. Her head was down and her eyes were on mobile and soon bus started moving and with that, hers tears too. I was totally astonished that why she was crying for someone who really don’t care about her, that was my perception at that point of time. Is she insane or that Boy Raj? However, one thing was true that she was in love with him and not only in love with him but in deep love with him. I could have easily understood that a terrible breakup had happened and she was not in situation to hold on. I was not able to understand her. I was keep asking myself how a person can love someone like this. How a month old or a year old relationship can be so strong that you can’t stand without it. As I had never been in such relationship, so it was impossible for me to understand her feeling but I was really feeling so bad about her.
As I moved out from my thought, I found that she was looking out from window and allowing the cool breeze to soothe her soul but still the tears and their marks were there, I knew that she had lot more things to say but she had no one at that time to share. I wanted to talk but I didn’t dare to disturb her as she was already drowning into her own ocean of tears. She again took her mobile and started reading old SMs from Raj and with every SMS she was getting more pathetic and finally she started sobbing and I unknowingly put her head on my shoulder, I could guess that she was almost unconscious about what she was doing but I didn’t mind as she was sobbing. I let her cry on my shoulder, finally she fall asleep on my shoulder, and I did not move it. However, I could see her face clearly and the marks of tears on her cheek. She was sleeping and in my mind, only one word was roaming i.e. “HOW”. How a girl can be so badly in love that she forget to understand everything else. How someone can love this much that they can’t hold on without them? There were so many “HOW” and “WHY” running in my head and finally I came across the thought of Famous “Meera Bai” that how she was mad in love with “Krishna”, it was unconditional Love. Now I could understand why this girl was so much mad in Love with RAJ because it was unconditional Love. A love with no desire, A love with no demand, A love with no limits, A love with no cause, A love with no Age. Was it the same love? I didn’t know but one thing I knew that I had never ever be able to love someone like this. That day I felt that not every person born with the Feeling of True LOVE, it is only awarded to some people in this World.
Finally the bus reached my destination and with jerk she woke up and suddenly said, “I am sorry”
I replied, “No..It’s OK however I want to thank you for all those things which you taught me in this journey and this would be my most memorable journey”
She asked, “Why?” and I replied with smile and walked out from the bus. She was keep looking at me until I disappeared in the darkness of night but that night I came across the truth of life and humanity.
It was new beginning for me, it was not exactly night in fact it was real morning in my life …I had figured out what true love is?
It is not always between a man and Woman it is always between hearts. Always keep your heart Open for LOVE because you never know when it would render a knock on your doorstep.
