Dearest Honey,
No matter what had happened in between you and me, but I still begin my day saying ‘I love you’ to your frame which is not there in my room but yes, it is there in my old eyes. My fragile body, which is decaying with time, feels helpless without you. Every morning I wish I could have gone with you. There was a time when you were there, to wake me up and guide me to the backyard to watch the dawn. Now, without you I wait with closed eyes for you to re-appear from somewhere and take me to backyard. Your foot-marks from last autumn we spent together are still intact as though that season had never passed. Chill of morning gust made me feel the same pain when you were with me, but now it had changed to something else. Sorry, I could not write it in words.
Remember the candles, which you left gleaming! Now they do not even heave up smoke. I always wonder if you were here then at least they had been smoking endlessly. Nonetheless, now, when I be adrift in the house, I always strive to feel your footfalls following mine, but they appear nowhere. Curtains of entire house are still left slightly open, as you used to keep them for my first look whenever I would come back, but now, I always keep my eyes on them for your first look, hoping that you would come back some moment. You know these growing eyes had started turning blur and daily, I attempt to negotiate with them for little more time. Even the kitchen does not smell the way it used to, and the food does not even taste the same. Although, I still used to cook the same as past, do not know what has changed suddenly. With every meal, I try to figure out what has changed in spices, everything appears same except your voice with grimace face.
Its summertime, all bright sunny days, but I guess I am caught up with cold. I cannot smell anything. House seems inodorous. Perhaps I am left with no care that is the reason. Well, you know, I walk around the entire house and try to smell your aroma but it has left the house. Why don’t I know? Perhaps it is due to summer‘s cold in which nose doesn’t rain but get choked. You know, whenever I seek you, I end up with heavy lump in my throat, I am sure it is nothing but cold but if you were here, I had been enjoying good health and your natural fragrance.
Now, if power goes off, I call your name repeatedly in a polite manner. It doesn’t matter how far you would be but I still call in low voice since I know, you hate listening your name in loud voice and consequently I end up with no reply even after for hours. Perhaps, it’s due to your endless sleep, which you are having in your coffin.
How stupid I am, despite of knowing that you were sleeping I always call you, I always seek you, I always wait to see your first look, I always stroll around the entire house with a stick, glasses and fragile body looking for you.
Now it’s time to sleep, need to wake up early to see the dawn.
Good night.
Yours…
