Destined Lives

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Destined Lives

Journey till the Start…

Rajveer Singh Prajapati

Sex, an act by organs or an emotion or an expression?

This Saturday, a flat-mate of mine has called me on my cell-phone, “Hey, is the bedroom occupied today?” I knew his purpose behind the enquiry still I asked, “Why do you want the bedroom free?”

“For the same reason a man live for. Please have it unoccupied for a couple of hours.” He requested and kept the call.

He hadn’t come home that night, I understood he must have met someone somewhere and this generally takes place when weekend is around the corner. When he had arrived with his girl, he found my laptop and me along with music system in the hall. His girl and he both entered bedroom and quickly but softly shut the door behind. I followed both of them entering bedroom with grounded heads and inflicted smiles which carried a tinge of shy or perhaps guilt – not sure. Why sex is a taboo, I thought, when it seemed to everyone as though a basic human need. Well, intercourse bring pleasure to both Adam and Eve, however, despite of it lot of other strings are tied to it and without those threads no Adam or Eva can indeed reach the pleasure of intercourse.

I generally find two kind of sex in the world – one which is love induced and other, which is body induced. Love induced sex is accepted and seen with respect in the society given social terms & conditions carried out in advance. However, the body induced sex is forbidden in so called civilized society. But to keep the balance in societal globe body induced sex which is commonly known by the names of extra-marital affairs, prostitution, and gigolos are essential. Though, body induced sex is interdicted, it existed in the most civilized corners of every civilization, known by the name of Red-Light-Area which had been formed and maintained to quench the sexual thirst of body.

If sex as a whole is really that important then why is it seemed as taboo, why is it not accepted as love – after all love induced sex is a byproduct of love and it’s essential ingredient of love. When mind loves someone it indicates that love by pouring out emotions and feelings. But, what about body – how body indicates its love for some other body? I believe it’s the touch by which body indicates its love for another body and to confirm the same love it has to have sex with that body. Well, body doesn’t think or make radical decisions, it needs whatever it needs, after all body has got some needs which has to be fulfilled such like brain which needs love and it achieves it by finding love, once, twice, thrice…depending on person to person.

Let’s paint sex on a larger canvas and what we find is that it is a bodily act of love where it doesn’t single out anyone on any lines. I am not talking in line with the great love stories of Romeo-Juliet or Heer-Ranjha or Sohni-Mahiwaal. What I am saying is if sex by love-need is justifiable then why not sex by bodily-need. Nevertheless, it’s the body that does it and brings all pleasure to brain and logics of love. If satisfaction is a mere state of mind then in sex it is achieved by body, doesn’t matter if it was love induced sex or body induced, because sex is sex and it has its own sovereign importance.

Many times sex is seen as an act of expression. Sometimes to know the passion of love one has to go through the act of sex, not by the chit-chatting. Sometimes real, unaltered emotion can only be experienced in the act of sex. Most people hide their emotion in daily life but this act of hiding doesn’t work for them when they indulge in sex. If the bodily act of sex brings so much truth about oneself in the light from darkness then considering it as taboo is an act of hiding, lying and deceit.

I don’t know on what terms our societal threads have been woven but there is a thread of sex which sometimes, I believe is wronging placed in the fabric of civilization. People don’t generally deceit for love but for sex. I guess that need of having bedroom available for couple of hours by my friend was to achieve that truth about his own love, passion and oneself. He must have lied a couple of things to that girl and the girl must have lied a couple of things to him based on the fact that sex in civilized corner of world is a taboo. If it wasn’t a taboo then they must have not lied about a single thing to each other. Doesn’t matter if they hide some truth or not but they achieved their momentarily truth by indulging in the act of sex. There, they were true to each other, no matter if it stayed like that only a quarter of an hour.

O Dearest, Let Me Say...

O dearest, at least listen to what I have to say…

It’s been long since I last spoke to you,

My heart, bleed in sorrow as and when I thought of you,

Quill of remembrance caused it an unbearable pain,

Though, this heart never complaint,

Now, let’s put some life in a fresh paper,

Since trust in lively bodies was there never,

What should I say about my words,

When tears were not seen by any of us,

It’s been a long since I am wide awake,

What to do …this evening doesn't move ahead,

And, how come I sleep in those sheets,

When no crumple could be left on its fine crease,

I want to call out my only name,

However, if you had given me the same,

Now what else could I say to you,

Since your eyes don’t blush in my view,
O dearest, at least listen to what I have to say…

Image: Courtesy to Google search

India, A Nation For Loot...

I still remember the days from my school, where I used to love history subject. Especially, the section of India’s glorious history. Being born in a country as great as India I used to feel pride, but it was when I was in school where the study booked were cooked by ministry of Education. I remember the time frame from 5^th standard to 10^th standard, when the feeling of nationalism and patriotism had filled my heart. That time, I wanted to join Indian Army to serve this great nation. Then, as I moved higher in my education and learned things outside of academic book, the curtain of cooked education had begun to fall apart and all the problems and weaknesses of my great nation started introducing to me.

We brag about being the largest democratic country of the world, but is it really the case? Do we really live in a democratic country? If yes, then what happened to the basic rights of citizens? Why political leaders looting citizens of India without a pinch of fear as though after God they have the real power. However, in the school I have been taught that people are the most powerful in democracy, is it really the case?

Few might not agree with my views toward my own country but that’s not the point.  The point is, I want to see my country as what I have learnt in my school days. Am I being unreasonable?

I believe NOT.

Let’s go back in time and see How India was getting formed. When India was in the process of getting freedom from the claws of Great British Queen, Sir Winston Churchill made speech before British Parliament against the Idea of Indian Independence.

“Let the House remember this. The Indian political parties and political classes do not represent the Indian masses. It is a delusion to believe that they do. I wish they did. They are not as representative of them as the movements in Britain represent the surges and impulses of the British nation. This has been proved in the war … … The Congress Party declared non-co-operation with Great Britain and the Allies. … … the Muslim League, sought to make a bargain about it, but no bargain was made. … … Nevertheless, the only great volunteer army in the world that fought on either side in that struggle was formed in India. More than three and a half million men came forward to support the King-Emperor and the cause of Britain; they came forward not by conscription or compulsion, but out of their loyalty to Britain and to all that Britain stood for in their lives. In handing over the Government of India to these so-called political classes we are handing over to men of straw, of whom, in a few years, no trace will remain.

This Government, by their latest action, this 14 months limitation—which is what I am coming to— (will) cripple the new Viceroy and destroy the prospect of even going through the business on the agenda which has to be settled. This can only be explained as the complete adoption of one of Mr. Gandhi’s most scatterbrained observations, which I will read to the House. It was made on 24th May, 1942, after the Mission. He said: Leave India in God’s hands, in modem parlance, to anarchy; and that anarchy may lead to internecine warfare for a time, or to unrestricted dacoities. From these a true India will arise in place of the false one we see. There, as far as I can see, is a statement indistinguishable from the policy His Majesty’s Government are determined to pursue.”

I know he had always had hatred for India and Indians, yet he saw what most couldn’t even bother to see. He said what most couldn’t even care to think. Perhaps, it was his hatred that compelled him to look at the aspects most couldn’t. And interestingly, I believe his hatred had led him to learn and disclose all the socio-political flaws about India. His speech was – in a way – partly outcome of his hatred toward India but in current times it feels as though a Prophecy. Seems, it was a prediction made by an old English man 66 years ago before the most powerful house.

After Independence and partition, great leaders of those times fought for the union of India. They brought all princely states and regions together to form world’s largest democracy and greatest nation. Unfortunately, those dreams could not see the light of reality or perhaps died with them. Instead of strengthening as a nation we started falling apart. Naxal movement which had shrouded more than half the nation coupled with other revolutionary movement for separation from India like Khalistan, are one of most the most notable political movements. Besides, consider the North eastern ignored states which ultimately led to the formation of more insurgency or revolutionary groups who grabbed weapons against the Government. And then, the rise of movements and diplomatic talk about formation and breaking up of existing states in the name of region and culture – commonly known as the politics of regionalism.

Recently government Okayed the formation of new state Telangana from Andhra Pradesh. Was it really required? I don’t think so. Why would people ask for a new state : for recognition, for more rights, for ethnic issues, for cultural reasons – are these reasons enough for the creation of states, if yes then I must say don’t give them new state better give them a altogether new country. Let these people serve their ego and reasons for which they fought for new state.

Since independence, politics of regionalism is being played and with time it becomes more and more powerful. Because of it, Chhattisgarh got separated from Madhya Pradesh, Jharkhand got separated from Bihar, Uttarakhand got separated from Uttar Pradesh and now Telangana from Andhra Pradesh. These are the ones that got separation from parent state but there are many more which are still waiting for their separation: Vidarbha wants its separation from Maharashtra, Gorkhaland wants its separation from West Bengal and on top of that former Chief Minister of UP Mayawati proposed the breakup of Uttar Pradesh into four separate state for the sake of economic development - Purvanchal, Bundelkhand, Awadh Pradesh and Pashchim Pradesh. Is this some kind of joke or something else?

Does this politics of regionalism really beneficial for the population of those states? In India, only richer are getting richer and same is the story of these newly formed states. Only political and business class which normally holds power everywhere have benefited from the politics of divided states, the major population doesn’t get anything else except a new state or to be precise a change in the addresses. It is the political agenda, not the people agenda still people watch these dirty games which are being played in open and sit tight. No one wants to open their mouth, no one wants to utter a word, no one wants to take a stand. It seems we all desperately want to see the destruction of our mother land. We never needed any invader army or foreign power to do that since we are well capable of doing it with utmost peace. Without any bloodshed we want to see the destruction of our beloved country.  Besides, why do we care, since India was never our country, It was originally formed by British after winning all princely states in the Indian sub-continent and putting them together.

Winston Churchill had always carried hatred for India and today, I feel it was justified, since he saw how careless and dumb we are, how cheap and selfish we are, what kind of looters and senseless we are. He saw all flaws in us and perhaps that’s the reason he could predict about our coming generation and country’s future. Within same country people hate each other: Marathi people don’t welcome people from North India, Assamese don’t welcome people from Bengal, Biharis don’t welcome people from Assam – because that is what our political classes and leaders taught their followers and these dumb followers began following their agenda without even pondering over the feeling of Nationalism. No political class or leader in India talks about Nationalism and still India is a nation. Here I would like to say that India is the nation of shameless and spineless people.

We, as India loosing our power and influence over the world not because foreign powers doing it, actually they don’t require to do or think evil for India, since we Indians are enough for the same. We are so weak within that we can’t hold the power. In fact, we hold no right to hold any sort of power. Living in modern times, we behave like primitives. People in India are getting literate in the institutions like IIM or IITs but still they are not getting educated.

Political people are serving their political purpose at the expense of Indian public and they have been doing it since very long time. Enough is enough but to them there is no enough. I heard somewhere that Society is not run by morality but laws and that too laws of that particular time. And in India, to loot and mislead has become the law, it seems. Everyone here wants to make loot and morality has lost its meaning. We have put our country for sale but in pieces, whosoever is ready to pay can own our souls and so the nation.  Rotten the character better the prospect of life, it is the new mantra of survival in this country. Wait a little, and few more would rise and agitate for the demand of new states. Not far, when people would like to start forming plans about making their own city or Mohallah a new state.

Welcome to BandarBa’nt of India…

Note : Those who think or perceive that I have insulted India then better go back and clean your own character. Before raising finger on me or on my thoughts clear the dirt from your mind and heart. And, if you are clean enough then you would understand my logic and anger behind this write-up. I am a Nationalist man and my nationalism nowhere permits me to accept such division of my nation in the name of new States. 

Images : Courtesy to google search

A Lone Long Hair

A Lone long hair – where does it come from, I had no idea. But, obviously it had invoked my thoughts. It wasn’t the first time I had ever encountered single long hair, still it caught strings of my heart, as though it was something of a wonder. That night, when I entered my bedroom I switched on lights and thoughtfully glanced at neat and tidy bed. It was an unintended glance, though still carried a sense of morbidity. Along with eyes, body too suddenly felt burdened with tiredness and clothes. White cotton shirt on my torso reveal the monochromatic state of my heart and an old faded denim blue pair of jeans narrated the exhaustiveness of my life’s journey.

Slowly, I opened all buttons of the shirt and let it fall on floor, then took out jeans and dropped it at the spot where shirt had, as though had been preparing for a battle, and, wrapped a loincloth around my waist like a primitive. While staring at the discarded clothes, I sat down on my bed and stretched hands rearward. When I fall back and my back met bed I brought my hands forward to see them. There, somewhere in the right hand’s fingers I discovered a lone long hair tangled caused by its silky smooth curls. Its edge shone like a twinkling star due to light falling on from a very special angle. I marveled at its curly beauty. Being a dead long hair, it appeared so alive to me that it brought life to my dead emotions. I felt a bloom inside and with it the very obvious question – how it reached my lonely bed - just vanished. I didn’t even bother to relate it to some identity, since within I felt it belonged to me.

I turned around to glance at the corner from where it caught my fingers. It was a corner edge of the bed, where a veiled gap, between mattress and wooden platform, existed. It unveiled the memories of lost times. Her young face shone in that room exactly the way this lone long hair had. We were young and had a long life waiting to be lived before us. She sat on bed, wore nothing except my full-sleeved white shirt, with two buttons from the top wide-open affording way to bosoms, and had long open hairs like a twinkling night. In loincloth, I sat on a chair adjacent to study table, where around the typewriter white papers with black syllables scattered. Some of them bore, poems I wrote for her, some bore her sketch, some bore short stories depicting her mighty beauty that would even cause God to feel jealous. Room was filled with her aroma and our love. For the first time in life, I had understood and felt purity. In those moments, the room was the purest place in entire universe, where existed pure love and untouched aroma. Innocent smile, the only expression she wore around her lips and it reflected in the form of gleam in her dark eyes.

I stood up to touch her face. With one hand, gently grabbed long hairs at the back of her neck and with other I softly touched her left cheek. She closed eyes as though in surrender and waited with fairly open lips for my fingers, so that she could plant a kiss on its tips. Slowly, my other hand slide down to her slim waist and soon the hand on her cheek joined it. As soon as our lips melt in, I gently pressed her waist by thumps at either side just to find ourselves tangled. Love rained like never before. Never ever in any corner of universe, the souls met each other the way ours met in those moments. With folded eyes, I watched her melting in me, taking my passion to the heights I ever imagined.

Eventually, I opened my eyes just to find myself alone in my bed while that lone long hair still held on to my fingers just to glint more. I felt as though I didn’t sleep nevertheless, lived those moments. Tiredness persisted in me but eyes felt no burden. With lone long hair in my fingers, I stood up and walked up to the dressing mirror. There, I saw it to its length while taking notice of its shade at different length. Inside the mirror, I found her sitting on my bed, smiling at me, wearing my white cotton shirt, which, last night, I left on the floor, and laughing out at my grey short hairs.

Image: Courtesy to google image search.

Chapter - 5 (...A Destined Love...)

Image : Courtesy to Rajesh Lashkari.

As soon as the train left platform, I shut the door and went inside the bogie. Except at other end, there prevailed darkness. By senses, and mobile phone light, I found way to my reserved berth. There, I found a pillow, a blanket, a hand towel and a pair of bed sheets. I quickly set the berth to render comfort to my body that had already beaten by such a long wait. Then, I remembered Dhaani. She might have also boarded the train, I thought, despite the fact that she did not arrive at Bina station. However, there prevailed a slight hope in heart along with a doubt that she might have been there at the station and my eyes had missed her sight. Her thought induced restlessness in me. An argument arose in thoughts and compelled me to leave the makeshift bed of mine and walk about in other bogies. That very urge was caused by the fact that somewhere I still believed that I would get to meet her all again.

After seeing few compartments, I returned to my berth and went to sleep. That sleep was not the normal one. It was a kind of thoughtless one, which I have rarely encountered in my life. At somewhere 8:00 AM when I opened my eyes I felt as though I hadn’t slept at all and just blinked the eyes. Body felt little weary, however, mind was clear. The very moment I knew what I was going to do in the next one hour. I left my berth to go to toilet and then returned to it after freshen up. While I placed hand towel on my wet face to clear it, I heard a tea-seller selling tea. I desperately needed one, and the moment he arrived closure I asked him to fill a cup for me. After filling a cup and shoving Rs.5 into his shirts pocket, he left the compartment. I lifted the cup to my lips and took first sip out of it. The very moment I recognized the cruelty of its taste. Never had such a bad tea in my life. A co-passenger, sitting on opposite berth with a similar cup of tea in his left hand noticed frown at my face and said, “They use milk powder to make this tea, which is pathetic but not life threatening.” I smiled at him in acknowledgement while lifting my cup of tea in a manner of cheers and stood up. I did not know what had compelled me to stand up and went to an open gate of bogie, perhaps to catch some fresh morning air. Stood there for a moment I thought of throwing the cup of tea outside but then I took another sip and felt it not that cruel or actually better. I dropped the idea of throwing it and drank it all in sips at regular interval as though relishing its taste.

After tea, I turned around to face the dressing mirror above washbasin. My reflection appeared in it and revealed my unkempt hair. I set them right using hands and rushed through passage into other bogie. I traversed all the connected bogies and with sharp eyes looked for her. Before I entered any compartment, I found my hopes already lying on floor. Except non-reserved bogies, I went to every class & compartment just to let down myself since she was not on that train.

Train halted at the Bhubaneswar station, after 36 hours of journey. Well, in those 36 hours I counted and wrote name of each station the train had taken halt. There were 42 names in the list– all big and small. Around 8:00 AM, I stepped out from the train with my luggage in hands and shoulder. When I walked out from the station, I detected the sign of last night heavy rainfall. It was still drizzling as though exhausted from all night affair. Despite heaviness of luggage on my shoulder, I felt light. Perhaps due to the excitement of new life that was on its way – a few kilometers away. I hired an auto-rickshaw and gave him the address of Infosys campus in Infocity. The ride was almost of half an hour. On the way, I asked driver to stop at a shop so that I could buy a packet of cigarettes. Since, while in train, I have hardly had a chance to smoke and now I desperately wanted one of those tiny smoking sticks.

When Auto-rickshaw reached Infocity driver informed me and asked for the location where he had to drop me. Reciprocally, I asked him if he had any idea about the Infosys campus and he responded in denial. Even so, that wasn’t a matter a concern since I could see tall plush buildings ahead and was sure Infosys campus must be around. I asked him to drive little further. There I stepped out from it and asked a man who was in formal attire and stood under a colorful umbrella, “Do you know where Infosys Campus is?”

He didn’t reply, instead gestured me to look upwards. First, I could not understand what was he pointing at, and then I look upwards just to find a blue cloudy sky over my head. Again, I asked him and this time he gestured towards the gate. There, a security guard was calling at me with smile. I looked at him and then again looked at the man with umbrella. He stood under the umbrella which had Infosys printed at its cross sections. He was an employee of Infosys and smiled at me. I paid the Auto-rickshaw driver and he took my luggage out. Security guard escorted me in security office where another guard asked me to present original copy of offer letter along with printed copy of confirmation mail from HR. I presented the asked document, and after scrutinizing them, he brought out a paper from cabinet drawer and began looking for something in it.

Sometimes later, he looked at me with despair and said, “Sir, your name is not in the list of joiners.”

“I have travelled almost 48 hours to reach on date and you are saying my name is not in the list.”

“Sir, I have received this list yesterday only.”

“Since I have got my joining confirmed only 10 days ago, can you please check with HR?”

He nodded and picked up phone to call the HR, whose name was mentioned in the copy of mail I had shown him. Few seconds later, he hung up the call and faced me with smile.

“Sir, she confirmed your name. Since your was last minute change, hence your name wasn’t present in the list given to us for cross check. Kindly proceed with your luggage for security clearance.”

In the joining letter, HR had mentioned about the security clearance – I was not supposed to carry CDs, USBs or alcohol with me inside the campus. I opened my bags for them, they checked it and almost 10 minutes later, they cleared me for entering the campus. Guard asked me to wait, outside a glass door that opened inside the campus, along with two other people who appeared to me fresher, they also had luggage and were waiting patiently, while talking to each other as though acquaintances, for car to pick them up. I proceeded as required and joined them. I heard them talking in strange language and thought they must be Tamil but later in Car with them I realized that they were not Tamils instead Keralites.

At the reception counter of company hostel, which was in the campus only, Warden asked to fill up details in register before receiving keys to allocated room. I seized the opportunity and asked him in return, “Has anyone from Indore or north India arrived yet?”

“No.” he answered, without giving much thought to my question.

“Are you sure? A girl from Indore?” I again asked, by dropping more clues.

“Entry Register is in your hands, better check for yourself.” exasperatedly he answered, and turned towards other who had been waiting for his attention.

I quickly glanced at the entries at current folio and then flipped it to have a look at entries at previous folio but found no name that had arrived from, if not Indore but entire north India. With defeated and tarnished hope, I turned over the register to one of those two keralites. With key of allocated room being placed in my hand by warden, I felt as though the dwindled hope of meeting Dhaani all again had eventually extinguished. With luggage, I reached second floor by elevator and opened room 306, by placing key into the keyhole. The grandness of the room was nowhere less than a premium class room of a five star hotel. An entire wall sized glass window rendered beautiful view of tennis and basketball court. A bathroom that was larger than the usual bedroom of middle class people. A finest television set with satellite connection and a tea table filled with cookies. Bed was so wide that two people could comfortably afford pleasant sleep on it. Mattress was as soft and spongy as I never experienced before. Infosys lived on its reputation more than I imagined, it had bestowed those excellent facilities upon its trainees.

I opened a bag to take out articles required to take shower in that grand bathroom – soap, shampoo, towel, underwear and other clothes. When I opened the shower curtain in bathroom, I found a nice soft towel, a scented soap and few satchels of shampoos already there. Must have been placed by housekeeping people. The sight brought a smile on my face. I felt an admiration for those who had set the place so wonderfully for my arrival. After shower and changing into a pair of jeans and a Kurta, I walked downstairs to find a swimming pool that was there in the hostel premises only, however, not visible from reception counter and unfortunately from my room. Sparkling blue water of it reflected the black hanging clouds in the sky. I looked upward and could clearly see that it was going to rain and it left a pleasant feeling in me since I could see the realm around turning into a heaven during shower. While I walked around, my face held a smile. Soon, I spotted a place to sit down. It was adjacent to not functional fountain.

At some distance, I watched a flat circular ground, all green with fresh grass – must be a cricket ground for employees to play on it. Along the road, I also watched the car coming towards hostel. Must be carrying some new trainees. It stopped just outside the hostel and not deliberately, I consistently watched it as though some miracle was about to happen. As soon as front door of the car opened I saw a pair of female legs in blue jeans coming out and then the whole her. To my mighty surprise, it was Dhaani. I could not believe she was there, I could not believe we were going to have 45 days of training together and I could not believe that destiny had planned it so flawlessly that we would be together finally.

I stood up and walked in her direction. As I approached her, she looked at me with inquisitive eyes.

“Hi, you remember me? I was there at microprocessor classes with you?” I said, with a stupid smile on my face.

“Oh yeah.” After a thoughtful moment, she replied. Though her response didn’t carry the level of surety required but I didn’t mind it. She briefly introduced me with her father who just stepped out from the other door of the car. I acknowledged him despite that he had puzzled look on his face and walked back towards the non-functional fountain.

Incessantly, my face carried a stupid sort of smile and her presence had induced a trust on faith and destiny in my heart. Without any suspicion and apprehension, I agreed to the fact that her and my destinies were tangled, and now the time had arrived for us to realize this fact and fulfill the call of destiny. 

To Be Continued....(Chapter -6 ...Coming Soon)

1. Read Preface

2. Read Chapter -1 (...A Destined Love...)

3. Read Chapter -2 (...A Destined Love...)

4. Read Chapter -3 (...A Destined Love...)

5. Read Chapter - 4 (...A Destined Love...)