Life, Struggle & Hope

To me, life has been an incessant struggle since I could recall it. And now, this very clamber sometimes takes me to a spot in thoughts where very effort feels waste on my life. Every mouth raises question and ask for justification, they see me walking on the edge of sword and future appears as bleak as dark of the moonless night. Broken dreams lay eyes on me in expectation, sometimes demanding to fix them or carry along in the name of hopes. Perhaps, these dreams of the moonless light made me see my future without sun, without morning, always struggling to keep the head above water. I remember I have kept myself from drowning since long but now I wish to say enough is enough, let’s accept the reality and call it a day, let go these hopes and drown effortlessly in peace. Nevertheless everyone wants peace in their life and what is wrong in it?

Somewhere I have read that love is a blissful peace and believing in it, I went after it. What I found is pain, struggle and crashed hopes, which warns me not to move ahead as more pain and clamber waits ahead. It is a tunnel in which one can see a distant light but can’t reach it. If the whole life turns into an endless struggle then what is the point in having such life? Why would one survive so long in this struggle to meet death in the end?

I know no one would agree with me, but that’s not the point. The point is to think over this, to think over the reason of survival in this life long struggle. Sometimes I ask myself, what this hope is and the very answer I could find is that Hope is a spell, or a thought or a feeling which has no existence yet strong enough to torture a human soul to its end.

Most would call me an utmost pessimist soul. However, as a matter of fact I am not. Had I been then I would have not chosen to hang on to illusion called hope. From where I see, I find no human a perfect pessimist, doesn't matter how pessimist they sound, they always hang by a positive notion called hope.

Sometimes I hate this hope. It is a sort of poison that neither let you die nor let you live peacefully. Now I ask you to wonder, had hope not been part of human nature what would have become of us?

Love is Sufi

“To be with her is meeting oneself,

To forget her is forgetting oneself,

To think her is thinking God,
To see her is seeing eternity,

To heed her is heeding God,

To believe her is believing in God,

To forgive her is being forgiven by God,

To Love her is being in Love with God…”

Am I really thinking of her, Or God? Well, now it doesn’t matter. Like every believer in Him, I also wish unite with ultimate. Doesn’t matter in whom I see him: myself or in her or in anything else. I wonder if these lines were said in Punjabi by great Sufi Poet & Saint Waaris Shah then the mere sound of it would have rendered the ultimate bliss to most souls. I struggle to define the boundaries of tale Heer-Ranjha. I wonder if that great tale was about two lovers or more than that. Perhaps, it’s about God in the form of humanly love or a way to see God more close to oneself. Such tales contain the treasure of spiritual wisdom and one can learn so much from them. And the things which I believe I have learnt from those greatest tales are ultimate selfless devotion and freedom.

Most lay claim about being in love but have never seen one who was stung and poisoned by the unrequited form of it. It is a simplest form of love yet comprises complexity of the entire universe. By nature humans are not selfless creature, however to meet the ultimate one has to become selfless. This seems like a test devised on a very simple principle of leaving ones basic nature, as though shading every piece of cloth and presenting oneself completely naked to the whole wide world. When one does achieve such state he enters into the realm of freedom where even the God itself can’t keep you in the boundaries of universe, if any, let alone this mortal world. You become the center of existence and everything starts revolving around you, like a dervish swirls in his own trance.

Somewhere I think the way we humans seek an honest believing selfless companion for oneself, similarly the God also seeks such companion. When we choose a companion we become careful and sometimes put that likely companion for test and hope they come out clean and worthy. Perhaps we have learnt this very routine from God itself since he also chooses his companions that way.

Doesn’t matter what we achieve God or lover, the thing we find at the end of this road is ultimate bliss and perhaps that’s what is God is: an ultimate bliss beyond which no desire shall remain, a freedom which allows oneself to jump off the edge life without fear, a peace far peaceful than the death, a pain as blissful as the dream of a new born child.

“Love lies in the letting go,

Devotion lies in the selfless hope,

Freedom lies in what you thought,

Pain lies in the heart of all,

And, God lives where there is all…”