Life, Struggle & Hope

To me, life has been an incessant struggle since I could recall it. And now, this very clamber sometimes takes me to a spot in thoughts where very effort feels waste on my life. Every mouth raises question and ask for justification, they see me walking on the edge of sword and future appears as bleak as dark of the moonless night. Broken dreams lay eyes on me in expectation, sometimes demanding to fix them or carry along in the name of hopes. Perhaps, these dreams of the moonless light made me see my future without sun, without morning, always struggling to keep the head above water. I remember I have kept myself from drowning since long but now I wish to say enough is enough, let’s accept the reality and call it a day, let go these hopes and drown effortlessly in peace. Nevertheless everyone wants peace in their life and what is wrong in it?

Somewhere I have read that love is a blissful peace and believing in it, I went after it. What I found is pain, struggle and crashed hopes, which warns me not to move ahead as more pain and clamber waits ahead. It is a tunnel in which one can see a distant light but can’t reach it. If the whole life turns into an endless struggle then what is the point in having such life? Why would one survive so long in this struggle to meet death in the end?

I know no one would agree with me, but that’s not the point. The point is to think over this, to think over the reason of survival in this life long struggle. Sometimes I ask myself, what this hope is and the very answer I could find is that Hope is a spell, or a thought or a feeling which has no existence yet strong enough to torture a human soul to its end.

Most would call me an utmost pessimist soul. However, as a matter of fact I am not. Had I been then I would have not chosen to hang on to illusion called hope. From where I see, I find no human a perfect pessimist, doesn't matter how pessimist they sound, they always hang by a positive notion called hope.

Sometimes I hate this hope. It is a sort of poison that neither let you die nor let you live peacefully. Now I ask you to wonder, had hope not been part of human nature what would have become of us?